Worn Out Dilapidated Dolly To the Rescue

by Christie Perkins

Wow. I’ve missed you. I’ve been on a couple of months of pain and sickness that I’ve just plain taken a break from the norm. I’m not really sure what that is anymore. Anyway, I’ve only been able to keep my head above water so most other things have just dropped. So much has happened.

But enough of that… let’s talk about life and living and all it’s wonderful perks.

I’ve been hoovering at a very hard and difficult state of well being for so long. I was tired of it. Tired of being sick, not having energy, throwing up every day, and generally not feeling great all the time. I was a dilapidated kinked-up crusty chromed car on the side of the road watching the freeway of Rolls Royce’s pass me by.

But I have not been without some amazing TLC. Of course there were so many helpful cleaners, home cooked beaners, and bright beaming gleamers that stopped to assist us. There’s been random money drops, sweet calls, and texts and visiting plops. I’ve cherished and needed them all.

But, through it all, I’ve felt so useless there being serviced and not helping anyone else. Continue reading

Easter: Power Over Death and a Ray of Sunshine

by Christie Perkins

Power over death. What an incredible gift.

The true meaning of Easter is much more significant than it has ever been for me. Stage 4 cancer has given me this valuable insight and appreciation of the resurrection.

The Savior took upon Him our pains and afflictions and broke the bands of death.

 

The Bands of Death

Now I don’t know about you but when you are handed a slip of paper that foretells your death ticket: non-curable stage 4 cancer the bands of death take on a whole new meaning.

Suddenly “beginning with the end in mind” is incorporated into everything you do. The heavy burden of death challenges how you spend time, how you interact with others, what you think about, and how you spend your money.

It’s a blessing and a curse. Continue reading

Finding Peace in Impossible Circumstances

by Christie Perkins

My medical records now have a new permanent line: liver metastases. We wondered if we could just cut out the new tumors in the liver but the doctor says that it won’t do any good because with stage 4 cancer there are just cancer cells everywhere. We don’t ever really get rid of it we just try and keep it from spreading.

Oh yeah. That’s right.

Little factoid here: Breast cancer that has metastasized (stage 4 cancer) loves to travel to the bones, the ovaries, the brain, and the liver. I’ve eliminated the ovaries (neener-neener can’t catch me), checked the brain, and am already hosting a party in the bones, and now it’s in the liver.

But, don’t you stress now.

(We are trying to keep the cancer tourists from hearing about this new premium prime location- so shhhh! Don’t mention it.) It’s true, it’s not exactly the best news but the way I see it- they are just a few wimpy spots anyway. But the thing I can’t quite shake is the peace. Yeah, the peace. No matter what, it won’t leave me.

I like it. Continue reading

Caught Up In The Rush?

by Christie Perkins

The busy inns turned away Mary and Joseph. Too much going on. What they didn’t realize was that there was a special little package arriving. A package that even they would need: the Christ child and His gifts to us.

If only they knew they simply needed to just let Him in. Yes, the inns were full (much like my own Christmas rush days- except full of things to do). What I didn’t realize is that I have to “make room” for Him.

It doesn’t just happen all on it’s own. I learned this lesson last week. Continue reading

Want To Perk Up Your Spirit? Try This!

by Christie Perkins

So lately I’ve been wearing some personality magnifying glasses that only sees my weaknesses. I sort of, kind of,… ok REALLY hate them. Every day it has this amazing power to pick up some new weakness. Well, I guess it’s not “new”- let’s face this- weaknesses don’t just flourish in a petri dish overnight. But, my ability to see what I am not is really annoying me.

try-this1Argh.

So, I got the half-brained brilliant idea to list all my weaknesses down. Wow. And as I listed them a full force of thoughts came rushing at me. The creative juices were loose. In fact, they were a little overly rambunctious. Calm down now. I knew I wasn’t very successful at many things but I had no idea that I really did stink it up this bad. Yeah, that took my depressed state down a few notches.

Not exactly the best idea.

Phew! I was glad my five year old interrupted me as my personal stink list pad was filling up fast with what I think bad. Gulp. Nice interruption. I didn’t want to go back to that little self-reflection activity. Continue reading

Because the Little Efforts Count

by Christie Perkins

So the easy way out was not to write today. But, a little something keeps coming to mybecause-the-little-efforts-count head.

I’ll get to that in a minute.

But, today I want the easy way out. The easy way out means I get to crawl in bed and smile about doing nothing. Ah… nothing sounds nice. The smile is only external though because I feel a responsibility to do something that I told myself I would do.

And that is to post a blog every week.

Every hurried, flurried, and scurried week. Even if the paper piles are flapping, the kids aren’t quite napping, and the crumbs are succumbing to faux sandcastle sculptures. I still have to post. Continue reading

Want a Vacation From Temptation? Try This Simple Trick

by Christie Perkins

Want a Vacation From Temptation_Try This Simple Trick”Recently I’ve had the feeling that I need to help my kids and myself work on recognizing temptations. I had a bunch of other things I wanted to write about but this is the one that keeps clomping me in the head.

Over and over.

And since I’ve been working on trying to follow my promptings I guess I better ditch the other fabulous (but flopping) ideas and do this. So here you go: Continue reading

Guaranteed Picture Perfect Moments

by Christie Perkins

Sometimes we think we know what is best for us.

Yeah, we think we have it all figured all out. You know, it’s the perfect, flawless, plan. In our heads the picture is complete. We actually think we know all of the details of what is best for us. And then (because we claim the teenage syndrome of “all knowing”) sometimes question why prayers aren’t being answered. We wonder if we are being heard at all.

Guaranteed Picture Perfect MomentsBut if we step back we will realize that our picture’s not quite perfect: we are just a kindergartners attempting to draw the perfect picture. As an adult it is easy to see that a person has shoulders, not just arms protruding from a neck that’s the same size as our thighs and hips. And there’s more to a simple line for our lips. A scraggly lined lip isn’t really fire engine red but a soft muted mauve.

Experience and prior mistakes in our own drawings tell us so. (Well that and my high school art teacher… who knew the eyeballs are not actually positioned on our hairline?) Continue reading

Gain This Super Power in Just 5 Minutes a Day

by christie Perkins

You all know people with super powers. We get all googly eyed over their amazing abilities. They are everywhere: Service Sweetheart, Listening Lister, Jammin’ Jamie, Dinner Pro Joe… yadda, yadda.

One Super Power You Don't Want to Go Without How just 5 minutes a day can save the day!Ooh, and I like it when they save the day. I’ve been rescued from overwhelming yard projects, worries and woes, awkward dance moments (lets face it… all my jigging and jiving wrinkles the faces of innoncent bystanders), and drive by dinner drop offs.

I love other people’s talents. What would I do without their strengths? And a little craving enters in and I think to myself, “Hm? What kind of super power do I want?

The possibilities are endless. So I fine tune my thinking, “What would be one of the greatest super powers I could have? And better yet: What super power could I pass on to my children?” Continue reading

Trust. Follow. Find.

by Christie Perkins

My doctor appointments were 2 weeks apart. I had just seen my oncologist and everything checked out fine. There were some new things I had to consider concerning preventative measures but I was walking straight down the line of fine, as far as we could tell. I was tempted to cancel the second appointment, the one with my radiation doc. What possibly could pop up in 2 weeks?

It was ridiculous because I was seeing this doctor for the same thing anyway: checking on the well being of my situation.

I’m good.Trust. Follow. Find.

For some time I had been contemplating ditching my doctor appointments altogether. If I was okay, then what was the point. I was plotting a new plan of action: call the cancer center and tell them that I was graduating myself to 6 month check ups. Yes, I liked this thought. Though, yes, I liked seeing my great doctors and staff on a personal level but seriously? This frequent visiting was useless and it was eating my money.

Twice a year should suffice. Continue reading