IV Chemo Strikes Again. (A Grumpy Post.)

by Christie Perkins

Three weeks ago my blood work showed that my tumor markers tripled in just a 2 month time period. We knew where my next treatments were heading (IV chemo. Yuck.) but we needed to take a cat scan first. Cat scan revealed the secrets of the blood work and that’s when I started watering my flowerpots with my eyes.

Hey. We’ve been on a drought restriction so sometimes you just gotta get creative. Except I think I drowned a few pots (ok, ok… I really didn’t but it would have been a really good idea. Why do all the good ideas come later?).

So the new news of more cancer growth on the spine and multiple spreading spots on my liver is hard to take. Magic potion number 9 wasn’t quite right for me. Above all, the thing that bothers me most is that I can’t quite catch my own grip on this news.

Stop crying girl.

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Dear Santa, I Want Hair!

Christmas Wishes

by Christie Perkins

Dear Santa, I want Hair!Two years ago I sat on Santa’s lap.

I only wanted one gift: hair. Chemo treatments stole my beauty markers. It ate my eyebrows, eyelashes, and hair (hungry little guy). The mirror check resulted in a search and rescue for any kind of roughage. My eyes would slip all over my face and head until it landed on my sole survivor eyelash. One eyelash on each eye.

It looked stupid. Continue reading

What Most People Don’t Understand About Hair Loss During Chemo

Losing Your Hair During Chemo

by Christie Perkins

I hoped I’d be the one.IMG_0011 - Copy

You know, the one who never loses her hair. I wanted to keep all that hair (see picture below). One day I believe my prayers are working that I’ll be that one who never loses her hair and the next moment it goes dead (if hair could ever be called alive). It was like my plump lush flowerpot after one hot day in the sun: withering and lifeless. Just one. That’s all it took was one little chemo treatment.

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Opportunity of Opposition

I Can Get Through My Tough Times #BecauseHeLives

by Christie Perkins

photo (720x960)We are meant to face hard things.  There must be opposition in all things so that we can understand the beauty of the good.

And there is so much good in this life.

When a simple phrase like “we’re just making memories” won’t do, there’s still a rescue that’s awaiting you.  Only the Savior can bear these burdens.

There have been times that I have tried to carry my own burdens but to no avail.  But, it wasn’t until I got down on my knees and poured out my heart concerning my troubles that He rescued me. Continue reading

Share The Truths You See In Others

Build Up Those Around You With Words Of Truth

By Christie Perkins

Germany 6-12 072Gasp.   My little guy drew in his breath.

I was trying to listen to the speaker at church amid an acrobatic stunt.  You see, I was working on crushing my 4 year olds dreams of pursuing his talents… well, at least here on the church bench anyway.

I wasn’t even sure he was listening to the speaker because usually when the jaw’s flapping the ears are slacking.  I was anticipating that the lions and bears would be arriving any time soon. Continue reading

The Cancer Whisperer

Family History Helped Me Find My Lump

by Christie Perkins

004You know that telephone game?  The one where you whisper in someone’s ear and by the end it gets all messed up.

Yeah, well… that happened to me.

Although it wasn’t a mixed up message but some fabulous tumor instead.  It was passed from generation to generation, until it got to me all mixed up and messed up.  Some static message ended up clunking out 2 types of cancer and 7 tumors (thankfully, only five were malignant).

Oh, the cancer whisperer messed that one up. Continue reading

Angels Among Us

4 year old Angel

by Christie Perkins

 

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAMy 4 year old boy has a sweet little friend going through chemo.  He has not missed one little prayer in his behalf.  I thought that after a few days he would move on with life and forget- getting wrapped up in dump trucks, crazy kid moments, writing on walls, and mutilating boxes with pens (don’t ask…I don’t even know what draws him into that.)

And if we forget to mention his little friend in prayer (which we have) he is grumpy with us.  He scowls and shoots out, “Hey, you forgot my friend.”  We tip our ears down, tuck in our tails, and repent.

Oh, we repent!

But, he is persistent and perfect in prayer.  He’s a four year old angel on a mission.

His prayers are always the same, “Please help my friend (calling him by name) to feel better. And I’m gonna ‘axe’ (AKA “ask”) my mom if he’s better when I’m done saying my prayer… Amen.”

And as always the same question jumps from his lips when he is done, “Mom, is he better?”

Perfect faith.

I wish it was that quick.

But, then I think.  You know what?  Yes.  It does work that way.  I’m certain a tiny stardust of hope floats his way.  It may only be a brief moment: a hopeful thought, a sweet dream, a moment of relief from aches and pains and losses and gains, or even Mom’s lips on his cheek.  All these little prayers- they are doing something.

And for a moment he feels better.

So, I’ve been thinking about my 4 year old boy and how much we need each others prayers.  How, at times, we are in need of angels and other times we are the angel.  And, really, it is the tiniest of things- like prayer- that are the big things.

He inspired this poem.

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