How I Landed My Brain MRI; New Findings

by Christie PErkiNS

This all started with my “trip” to  in Home Depot. I was just checking out lights. Luckily it was just my husband, me, and my random eyewitness that was on the aisle.

The floor was incredibly flat and smooth, not slick even a niche. Then poof! I dropped from eyesight. It’s like a magic trick. You know how tricks like this work: you see it, but you don’t.

How in the world can you fall on that? “That,” meaning nothing. I question my trick.

But, since my eyewitness was mentally documenting my fall and my husband had that quizzical look on his face I decided to fool them again. I pretended nothing happened. But the cock-eyed looks from the gents on the aisle made me splash out a smile, a chuckle, and a shrug.

Lets just forget that… moving along.

A couple of days later I’m in the granite store and we do a repeat trick. Wow. Fabulous moments going on here. Always getting the same quizzical look and silent words reverberate loud and clear in my ear…

What in the world?

My finale is always the same though: a smile, oops eyes, and a shrug. And the next several days I continue to fall when I walk. I trip on a thin cardboard box, the end of the broom- the straw fluffy-puff end, not the handle.

People begin booking my stunts. Continue reading

The Mysterious Masked Ma’am

by Christie Perkins

It’s not Halloween. Yet, she sports a mysterious mask. And, quite frankly, it doesn’t match her outfit. So what’s the deal?

the-mysterious-masked-maamYeah. Well. Thank you white blood cells. It’s official: my white blood cells have turned into couch potatoes.

The doc expected the cells to perform in a week and in two weeks they were still on vacation being lazy and making me a little stir crazy. So I decided to venture out. But of course I take my baby blue mask to filter out germs.

I miss human life forms.

I put it on and only my eyes lop over the top. Holy cow this is not what I was imagining. Couldn’t they make it slip just over the lips? I feel… noticeable (to say the least) as it covers my entire face. My makeup job this morning was a waste. Yay. But I wear lipstick anyway. It makes me feel better. This mask is fabulous for a back row kind of gal. Wow. Well. At least if I get lost I’ll have my SOS gear intact. Continue reading

Chemo Pill and Death of a Grapefruit

by Christie Perkins

First they tell me I can’t have blue cheese dressing. It would have been fine if they would Chemo Pill and Death of a Grapfruithave told me that the year before. I wouldn’t have even tried the mouth watering crave. Yes. I was like all of y’all scrunching my nose at the thought of moldy cheese. But, at first lick it pleased me and I fell in love with it. Thanks Dad. I should have trusted you the first time you tried to get me to try it. I should have known because I’ve inherited my dad’s taste buds on many other things.

(Seriously if you haven’t tried it you’re missing out.)

So with my initial cancer diagnosis and the start up of chemo I’m a little bummed about ditching my newfound infatuation, I had to break up with blue cheese. Those of you on weird food diets get my pain. I had to settle for ranch to avoid an elevated health crash. Continue reading

Yawn. My Stage 4 Cancer Update

by Christie Perkins

YAWN!My Stage 4 Cancer UpdateSo a lot of people are wondering what is going on with my treatments. This will be a highly unexciting post about the details of my life right now. If you want to skip out… I’ll catch you next week.

Wink. (And we can still be friends. I won’t even know that you dropped out.)

First, I need to clarify what stage 4 cancer is. Most people just nod and give me that far off look in their eye. It’s like trying to explain burns to me. Is 1st degree worst or 3rd? All these numbers cause me brain blunders. Continue reading

How Cancer Changed My Grocery Shopping Excursion

by Christie Perkins

Cancer has changed me.

Before cancer I would grocery shop. Hustle, bustle, grumble, toss. It was just shopping, right? But, really, the thing I liked most about shopping was the people I would brush you're the greatest!against. When I think about it, this random people connection is really the only perk to grocery shopping. I would stand behind my cart and voluntarily hand out smile samples to random nameless go cart racers.

I liked greeting strangers. And to the familiar faces I would give a hey-holler. Personally, I like it when people want to see me, so I assume others like it when I see them. So I ding them with a smile.

It’s simple. But, it’s what I do when I shop. It’s how I shop. Continue reading